Wednesday, April 06, 2005
This is an 'actual memo' from Markwoodson and Associates, a Toronto firm. This was circulated shortly after the Tsunami disaster.
TIPS FOR MANAGING IN TIMES OF DISASTER
Supporting Employees in the Aftermath of the Southeastern Tsunami Disaster
Dear Managers,
In a world where instant media response is the norm, the number of employees who will have been exposed to media coverage of the Tsunami disaster will be significant. Some employees may also have relatives or friends in the affected area who they fear are either missing or dead.
As a manager, there is much that you can do to support employees through this crisis. This is a time when supervisory staff must be available to their employees as much as possible to provide support and show that how much we care about how they are feeling.
It is important to understand that people may not “get over this” quickly. Every individual will be affected differently and the length of time it takes to process what has happened may vary. Choice phrases like ”Buck up there, soldier” or “Shut up, we’re nowhere near the ocean, you sniveling twit.” can work wonders on anxiety-ridden workers.
Another good strategy for shortening your employee’s getting-over-it time is to issue vague threats of pay cuts and/or dismissal for anyone who doesn’t ‘get over this damned thing right quick’. Coddling employees leads nowhere, as evidenced by the old adage, “Familiarity breeds contempt”.
For employees who may have lost family members in the disaster, it is important to remind them that these family members live far, far away. If the employee was truly concerned about Uncle Pang why did he or she move all the way to North America? Is it their fault a Tsunami has devastated their former homeland? The answer is no. Tell the employee not to worry so much, Uncle Pang is probably clinging to the top of a lamp-post somewhere or floating along on a hunk of debris, waiting to be picked up by rescue workers. Or, if he has succumbed to the ten meter high walls of water crashing down on his home, he’s probably a dead bloated corpse, an empty shell that isn’t human anymore, and thus free from mortal concerns.
Oftentimes, employees of the opposite sex will be in need of comfort and/or personal counseling. Rather than waste valuable company time and money on these expenses, invite said employee out for a drink to talk over their fears and anxieties. After a few drinks, casually mention a ‘nice comfortable hotel’ in the area. Then, with a combination of veiled threats and gentle reassurances, retire to the hotel for a night of one-on-one counseling. Your employee will thank you for it.
If questions arise about the company offering a donation for Tsunami relief, remind employees that since the government has already pledged tens, if not hundreds of millions of dollars of taxpayers’ money, additional donations are not required. After all, there is no need to throw good money after bad.
Sincerely, The Board of Directors
TIPS FOR MANAGING IN TIMES OF DISASTER
Supporting Employees in the Aftermath of the Southeastern Tsunami Disaster
Dear Managers,
In a world where instant media response is the norm, the number of employees who will have been exposed to media coverage of the Tsunami disaster will be significant. Some employees may also have relatives or friends in the affected area who they fear are either missing or dead.
As a manager, there is much that you can do to support employees through this crisis. This is a time when supervisory staff must be available to their employees as much as possible to provide support and show that how much we care about how they are feeling.
It is important to understand that people may not “get over this” quickly. Every individual will be affected differently and the length of time it takes to process what has happened may vary. Choice phrases like ”Buck up there, soldier” or “Shut up, we’re nowhere near the ocean, you sniveling twit.” can work wonders on anxiety-ridden workers.
Another good strategy for shortening your employee’s getting-over-it time is to issue vague threats of pay cuts and/or dismissal for anyone who doesn’t ‘get over this damned thing right quick’. Coddling employees leads nowhere, as evidenced by the old adage, “Familiarity breeds contempt”.
For employees who may have lost family members in the disaster, it is important to remind them that these family members live far, far away. If the employee was truly concerned about Uncle Pang why did he or she move all the way to North America? Is it their fault a Tsunami has devastated their former homeland? The answer is no. Tell the employee not to worry so much, Uncle Pang is probably clinging to the top of a lamp-post somewhere or floating along on a hunk of debris, waiting to be picked up by rescue workers. Or, if he has succumbed to the ten meter high walls of water crashing down on his home, he’s probably a dead bloated corpse, an empty shell that isn’t human anymore, and thus free from mortal concerns.
Oftentimes, employees of the opposite sex will be in need of comfort and/or personal counseling. Rather than waste valuable company time and money on these expenses, invite said employee out for a drink to talk over their fears and anxieties. After a few drinks, casually mention a ‘nice comfortable hotel’ in the area. Then, with a combination of veiled threats and gentle reassurances, retire to the hotel for a night of one-on-one counseling. Your employee will thank you for it.
If questions arise about the company offering a donation for Tsunami relief, remind employees that since the government has already pledged tens, if not hundreds of millions of dollars of taxpayers’ money, additional donations are not required. After all, there is no need to throw good money after bad.
Sincerely, The Board of Directors
